A car is spotted in the far distance driving towards the farm homestead. When it pulls up near the farm house, the lady of the house comes out and enquires as to what the driver wants.
The driver says, “I would like to talk to the farm owner.”
The woman replies, “I’ll call him up, and find out where he is.” After a call on the two-way radio, “He’s fueling up a tractor behind the silos. Just follow that road for a bit, down and around, you’ll spot him.”
The driver finds the farmer standing by the tractor who asks, “Can I help ya mate?”
The stranger says, “I’m the rep for the Australian Workers Union, I would like to talk about your workers. How many are there on the farm?”
“Three” says the farmer, “Why do you want to know?”
The rep then asks, “What do they all do?”
“Well one is a mechanic, he looks after all the machinery, the bikes and then fills out his day by working as a general hand.”
“How many hours does he work?” “About fifty, with free meat and rent thrown in.”
The rep looks at the farmer like he’s a bit strange and asks “what’s the job then of one of the other farm workers?”
“Well, there’s a handyman, he looks after the water pumps, windmills, keeps all the water troughs in good order and keeps the dogs fed.”
“And what are his work hours?” The union bloke enquires.
“Well, he works the same hours as the mechanic.”
“So, what’s the handyman’s wage?”
The farmer patience is starting to wear thin as he replies “Three hundred a week, and he’s happy with that.”
“And the third worker, what does he do?”
“Well, he’s the versatile one, he organizes the two others, looks after the sheep, does the ploughing, seeding, harvesting, orders the fuel, buys and sells the stock, and keeps the books straight.”
“So how many hours does he work, and what is he paid for doing all that work?”
The farmer has really had this city clown by now with all his stupid questions, so he looks him in the eye and tells him “About two hundred and fifty dollars a week, and he works at least seventy hours a week, although it’s probably more.”
This fires-up the rep so he snaps with a reply and asks, “ So where is that man, I need to talk to him now.”
The farmer answers with a big grin, “He’s standing right in front of you answering your stupid questions.”
Jack Barrie 2020
This Story was published on June 7th 2022
In Issue 321 of The Mailbag
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